Me and My Boys

The not so happy ending!!

2010-10-23T23:58:00.000-07:00

Gosh, where to start? Its been soo long since I posted and soo much has changed in my life. In May of this year I had finally had enough of the fighting, arguing, and being hit on my boyfriend. So now he is my ex. I packed me and the kids stuff and got out of his house as quick as I could. I moved in with a friend of mine for a lil while and then got my own place. I couldn't afford it on my own so it didnt last long at all. We moved back to the city we moved from and I got us an old mill house. Well that didnt make me happy either cause old houses come with lots of old problems. My ex and I still can't get along, and as early as a month ago he put his hands on me again. Police said there wasnt enough evidence to charge him with anything, Bullshit! Because of all the drama that was going on with us living in the same town I moved to Opelika Alabama with my kids. I am currently staying with my stepsister and her kids. Its waay too crowded for me and I really hope i can find a place up this way soon. I know I surely wont be goin back to Lagrange. My ex took the tahoe that he bought me away from me and gave it to his new girlfriend. He wont pay child support or anything. He is not the kinda father or person i ever ezpected him to be but i guess thats how life goes. The family and children services here are suppose to be helping me in lots of ways so hopefully they do and I can hold my head high again and get back on my feet.

Catchin up-

2010-04-29T18:40:00.000-07:00

Soo, I failed to keep up with the blog, again.. I really need to so I can document our lives but I just never take the time to do it. Plus when u have an almost 1 year old who is constantly into everything its hard for me to take the time!

I cant believe that exactly one year ago yesterday was my due date to have Aiden. He, of course, had other plans and didn't come til a week later, by induction. He has such a big personality for such a little boy. He is not walking yet but I won't be long. He can get wherever he wants to, though. His temper has sure enough came out the last few weeks. He can get mad soo quick and starts forcing his body back and forth. He was banging his head on everything but I think he's outgrown that already. He is really a mess and I know I am going to have my hands full with him. We are having him an Elmo themed pool party next Saturday here at home. We are working on getting the pool cleaned and the chemicals right, but me and Fred dont know anything about pools so we have to learn!

Nathan is playing baseball and really doesnt like it. I guess it is pretty boring just standing in the outfield waiting for something to happen. Plus he was hit by the ball a few times and that scared him a little. I think after this we will stick to basketball and football!

I start my first job in a long time tomorrow. I took tests for the Census Bureau back in Feb but never heard back. Until last week. And I got the position of crew leader so thats even better! It's only part time and temporary but I am still looking forward to it. Better than nothing and it will look good on my resume! Pretty dang good pay too. I'm super excited but nervous to be leaving Aiden. I have never been away from him long at all and have severe anxiety when I am away from him. I will be okay though, just need to think about makin this money!!

Peace out everyone!

Playin in the creek!

2010-03-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

As a child me and my cousins, friend, brother, really anyone we could find, loved to play outside. We had a BEAUTIFUL day today so me and the boys, and my niece, Bianca, took full advantage of it. We walked the land alot and up and down the creek. I took some nice pics of the kids. I'm gonna try to do something with pics for MIL but more of that later. I fixed the kids a picnic and they went and ate by the creek on a blanket! Then they played their hearts out all day!! They actually ended up having two picnics! Then this evening we grilled steaks out. Mmm... Nathan had to make sure he watered his cabbage plant, I just have to make sure he doesn't over water it! This yard woulda been my dream as a kid and they are sure to make soo many good memories here!

Gosh its been awhile!

2010-03-16T14:35:00.000-07:00

me and Aiden 2/2010

Love him!

Christmas morning!

these crazy boys!!

Nathan and his cake that granny made!

So its been waay too long since I updated! But my kids, house, bf, and everything else that comes up have kept me busy lately. I can't say that the last couple of months have been great. I've been going through some things and it seems to be a neverending cycle of the same ole thing, day after day. Gotta do something to get myself outta this funk!! I am really hoping that once the nice weather gets here to stay then I will have plenty to do!!

My kids are doing great!! I can't believe that Aiden will be 1 in 7 weeks!! Gosh how time flys!! Seems like it was just yesterday we took him home for the first time!! He is such a silly baby, always laughing, loves to play, loves to be outside, loves bathtime. He loves his big brother, too. He always goes in Nathans room while he is at school in his walker and just hollars!! Its soo cute! He is a very lazy baby though! He scoots where he wants to go, rolls all over the place, sits up good, but will not get up on his knees to crawl. He is perfectly content pulling hisself all over the house!! Nathan turned 9 in Feb and I have to say that the little boy is starting to think he is waay to grown and I am not liking it at all!! I have NEVER had any problems outta him but yesterday his teacher called saying he was clowning around and playing a lot at school. Needless to say he is on punishment and can't do anything for a few days. No playing, no psp, no ps2, Nada... He just started playing baseball a few weeks ago but if he doesn't straighten up I'll take him out. Might waste my $50 but gotta teach him a lesson somewhere. Sometimes it sucks having to be the disiplinarian but someones gotta do it!!

I had Nathan a birthday party/sleepover for his birthday and it was super crazy. Had about 15 kids and about ten of them spent the night. I always had him a sleepover at the apartment and invited most of the same kids that came every year. This year we did have a few new ones. I think having the sleepover was easier at the apartment than it was here at our house!! Maybe because the apartment was soo small and they really didnt have much room to do anything. But these boys wore me out this year. They were running all over the place, loud, and they stayed awake til like 4 am!! Not sure if I will do this again!! They really made a mess and drove me crazy!!

I hope I get better at doing this blogging. I love reading others blogs just never take the time to do my own!!

Where does the time go?

2009-12-13T07:45:00.000-08:00

Nathan & Bianca on Halloween!Aiden 7 months old!!

Thanksgiving, love this shirt!!
At the parade!

I can't believe its been almost 2 months since I updated and our life is completely diff than it was then. We finally got moved and have settled down here pretty good. I am absolutely LOVING it. To go from that teeny tiny apartment to ALL this space has been crazy!! But crazy in the best way possible!! Our house is perfect!! I have had to get used to having this much space to clean up but I wouldnt have it any other way..and i have a dishwasher now which I swear was my DREAM COME TRUE!! Seriously..it was my only must have for our house! The kids have adjusted well. Nathan did start a new school but he had previously went to this school so really it was an old school. And the bus comes like 30 mins later than it did at the apartment so thats 30 extra mins of sleep I am lovin!! And get this, the bus turns around in the cul de sac b4 it comes here so we see and hear it first soo....I dont have to stand in the cold with him and wait on the bus!! Yay!! He just runs out there when we see it coming back down the hill!! Aiden is gettin soo big and sayin dada and bubba like crazy..still waitin on the mama but it'll happen and then it will NEVER stop!! I got him a walker to try out on the hardwood floors and as soon as he figured it out he hasn't stopped goin all over the house!! Hes soo cute tryin to get into ANYTHING he sees!! And I swear if its something he really isn't suppose to have he wants it the most!! Remote, phone, anything in his reaching distance!! I had to build a barricade around the christmas tree cause he kept gettin in it. Now he can get real close but he cant touch it!! He only has his 2 bottom teeth right now but hes still teething like crazy and I'm expecting to see more anyday now!! Well thanks for reading and I will try to do better!!

Aidens first tooth!

2009-10-22T18:01:00.001-07:00

His first tooth has finally broke through @ 5 1/2 months. He's been tearing his hands up for weeks now and it finally came through! Before I know it he's gonna have a mouth full and wanna tear up some food!! Aww!!

Getting ready for the big move!!

2009-10-22T13:55:00.001-07:00

I am soo excited to say that tomorrow at 3 pm we will own our first home! I am soo happy and excited and more than ready to get outta this too small apartment!! I have been soo busy trying to buy everything and find everything so Ill have it when we get ready to move in. We want to paint the walls first and have laminate floors put in the living room then we can move in! Hopefully by the end of next week we will have it done!! I will be moving some stuff in tomorrow, as soon as we get the keys, just so we have some room to walk here without tripping over boxes!! I sooooo can't wait!!

Nathans first football game!!

2009-09-28T21:02:00.000-07:00

GAMETIME!!!!!!!!

B4 his big catch!!

He's standing on the end right here-- #24

My baby had his first real football game on Saturday and had soo much fun!! We had to be there bright and early, 8am...for pics. Nathan was all dressed out in his uniform and even used some of the under eye black. He did VERY good for an 8 year old!! He picked up a fumble and made a 25 yard reception!! I am soo proud of my baby!! They won 21-13!!! I see a lot of football in our future and I know it's gonna be a lot of fun!!

Life is good!!

2009-09-25T16:41:00.000-07:00

Aiden (4 1/2 months) & Nathan (8)

and I'm happy with my family. My kids are healthy, my man is healthy, and I'm healthy. Nathan and I did have a bad run in with the flu last week. Nathans only lasted a day and mine was more like 6 days, off and on. But we're better now!!

We think we finally found the house were gonna buy!!! I absolutely love it and am SOO excited to have finally found it!! It's perfect for us, land for the kids to play on, a pool (I really wanted one!) and a pool house!! It has a tree house for the Nathan to play in now and Aiden later. It's just perfect!! It needs a little work and I of course will be doing some painting. I'm soo excited to get outta this little apartment and into the country!!! Can't wait to decorate and get moved!! If all goes as planned we will be able to move in a month!! Yayyyyyyyy!!!

Silly Baby!

2009-09-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

Aiden is always being soo silly and LOUD!! He laughs and makes all kinds of noises all day long!! Its soo cute! He is 4 1/2 months old now!! We had his checkup the other day and had to get shots! He is doing great and weighs a whopping 16 lbs 7 oz!! The shots made him fussy bad but he was okay the next day!! Here is a little video I took the other day!! Nathan watching wrestling and Aiden playin on the bed!!!!

At the Dragstrip!!

2009-09-13T14:04:00.000-07:00

Freds 69' Camaro makin a pass in it Nathans hair was a mess right after football practice!!

me & Aiden gettin ready to go!! Some of the cars

Aiden was more intersted in his toes than the cars!!

I liked this one!

Young Dro (these are the pics Nathan took) Young Dro again

the watch shot

the necklace shot

Yung LA DRO again

yung LA

He finally got a good one!!

I think he looks annoyed--and this is just a few of the pics

He took quite a few more!! LOL

So my boyfriend is really into racecars and drag racing and pretty much drives me crazy with all the "car talk" on a daily basis!! He has 2 of them now , a 79 Nova & a 69 Camaro...I really wanna learn how to drive the Nova and race it cause it looks like soo much fun!! Fred is like yeah right everytime I tell him I want to but maybe next spring I'll make him teach me!!

Last Saturday there was a big race and car show @ the track--It was packed out there and Fred took his Camaro out for the first time. He didn't really run it fast cause its a new and he hadn't made any passes in it before then. But he'll get the hang of it...Fast as that car is you would have to work your way up to driving it as fast as it goes!! Well Sat they had 2 rappers there judging the car show. Young Dro & Yung LA So I told Nathan, to go see if he could get pics up where they were hanging out at. Well he did!! He took all kinds of pics of them boys. I think its too funny because one of them looks like Nathan is really gettin on his nerves and knowin my child he prob was!! We had a great time!!

Read and think about carefully!

2009-09-05T19:24:00.000-07:00

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I'm with you.
No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world!
Don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
Maybe God wants you to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one..so that when we do, we will know how to be grateful.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to.
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to!
REMEMBER-----------Whatever happens, happens for a reason!!

Small hat or big head?

2009-09-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

Aidens grandma bought him an outfit and made the comment she knew his big ole head would be too big for the hat! So I had to try it on him...It was too small of course...but I had to take pics...he fell over in the middle of me snapping!! TOO CUTE!!

Nathan started football practice last week. He is gonna have soo much fun with this. He is the wide receiver for the Cowboys. The coach pulled me to the side yesterday to tell me that Nathan is really talented and does very good. I'm soo proud of him. I'm not very talented when it comes to sports but Nathan does good in everything he tries!! Fred is gonna be coaching too when he can so its really cute!! Can't wait for the games to start! Pics then!!

My new hair!!

2009-08-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

Just had to share my new hairdo...I had about 3 inches cut off and had some hilites added...I love it!!

Hurtin over this!

2009-08-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

cannot for the life of me figure out how some people can be like they are. Especially my own family. I have never had a great relationship with my mama but this was the final straw. I will never speak to her again and she will NEVER see my kids again. I'm still in shock that it happened..Let me start from the beginning because I really need to get this out...My mama is an alcoholic...I have tried talking to her and getting her help but nothing works. She hasn't always been like this but the last couple of years have gotten progressively worse. She starts drinking everyday around 2 pm and doesn't stop..I don't live in the same town as her, I live about a 45 minute drive away so I can't just visit her all the time. But I do go when I can. She NEVER visits me. I have a 17 year old sister who is slightly disabled and she is my heart. I let her come stay with me for weeks at a time during the summer. Mama always wanted to send her to me just to get rid of her but I welcomed her..Shes my baby sister and I have always done everything I can for her.
Here's the problem that I'm SOO hurt over..My boyfriend recently got a lump sum of money from a lawsuit and has been doing things for us that we haven't been able to do. He bought me a used truck that's really nice and mama seemed happy about it. WELL, last week me, my boyfriend, his niece, and Nathan went to a Braves game in Atlanta. I added pics to my MySpace the next day. She calls me and cusses me out because we went and took Fr eds niece instead of my sister. Well we had to get 4 tickets cause u couldn't just get 3 and like I said, she lives outta town. So Bianca just ended up going...But besides that we coulda took whoever we wanted and it shouldn't have mattered to mama. She left me all kinda ugly messages on Myspace...So after that phone call I deleted her from Myspace & Facebook. She always had something smart to say so I just prevented that problem by deleting them...So she calls me again like 2 days later demanding that I give her $100 that she GAVE me 3 years ago on my deposit to my apartment, and her tv back that she let me borrow. Now I have borrowed money since then and have ALWAYS paid her back....This wasn't a loan....she gave it to me helping me out...So i tell her no on the phone and leave it at that...The next night she gets my stepdad to call me asking about the money..I tell him I don't have it, cause really I don't. She calls me back telling me that if I didn't bring her that money right then she was calling DFACS on me and would tell them anything to get them to take my kids. That she just didn't want me to have them..Oh this pissed me off..I just hung up...This witch calls my boyfriend saying the same thing...So now he's pissed cause no one wants DFACS in their shit and we know our kids are well taken care of..I mean my own MAMA would have done this. So I tell her I will bring it in the morning. She tells me I better be there no later than 8:05 or she was calling DFACS. So we left a lil late the next morning. She texts me talking about u must think I'm playing...I'm balling my eyes out the whole ride there and my Boyfriend is like ur not getting out the car...Uh, duh..so my stepdad comes out talking bout I'm sorry and I think its a bunch of BS, but please don't tell her I said that...I told him not to worry cause I would not be talking to her...I just can't believe all the crap came from my mama and I really don't ever wanna talk to her again...I feel soo much better for finally getting this out....I hate that I don't have the kinda mama that most do but I have my kids & BF & that's all I need!!

80 Shot Allergy test!!!

2009-08-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

So I have been very sick with my allergies the last couple of weeks..They get soo bad to where I can't even go outside because my eyes are soo sensitive to the light and will close up. I have had these problems for awhile and took everything I could trying to fig out how to help it but never can. It has been especially bad this time of year. So I finally went to an allergist for an allergy test. I RECOMMEND THIS TEST TO NOONE!!!! I had looked it up b4 I went and thought they would rub the diff allergies on me and whatever I reacted to--BAM that would be it...but nooo i had it all wrong. The nurse comes in with 2 trays full of needles--She gives me 20 in one arm 20 in the other...I was in shock...40 shots in a row...So I'm sitting there and the doc comes in to look at my arms. I couldn't understand what she was talking about but I found out soon enough.

The nurse came back in there with 40 more shots, just a higher dosage!! I wanted to cry. But I did it...80 freakin shots in all..so I finally know what I'm allergic to...grass and ragweed...WHAT THE HECK!! How do u stay away from grass? I love being outside....so after all that I still have to go back for the actual allergy shot..hope the doc calls soon!!! Like Monday~~

My baby eating...

2009-08-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

So I know that babies arent suppose to eat til 4 months but he's 3 1/2 months old now and fat baby was wanting some food. He always gets fussy when he sees us eating so I had been playing with him with the food. Letting him try applesauce, bananas, etc...Well he got the hang of it and loves it to death!! He is too cute when he eats and watching him eat no one can say that baby didn't want some food!! I had to video him just because it was soo darn cute!! Maybe he doesn't need it but he dang sure wants it!! He sees me coming with the bib, spoon, and food he gets soo excited and goes to opening his mouth for food!!I started something that will NEVER end but hey at least I know he's full!!

Atlanta Braves 2009!!

2009-08-22T13:33:00.000-07:00

Yunel (my fav player)!! Garrett Anderson

Nathan pregame
Catcher Brian McCann & cutie pitcher Jair!Fred & Nathan

during the game
Me, Nathan, and Bianca

Nathan & Bianca

Fireworks after the game Last Friday night we went to see the Braves play the Phillies. It was Nathans first time and he loved it. We ended up getting tickets last minute and Nathan didn't know about it. He knew we had been talking about it but didn't know when. So while he was at school that day I went and got him a Braves t-shirt. When he got home I just handed him the bag and told him to open it. He was too happy when he realized we were going.

We had really great seats. Second row right outside 1st base. We got there early and all the players were warming up right there. My fav player, Yunel Escobar was right there, like maybe 10 feet from me a couple of times. I coulda hollared at him and tried to get him to come over to me. But I'm too shy..lol..Nathan likes Chipper Jones and was soo excited to actually see him. I got some okay pics..My allergies started messing up so I wasnt feeling great! We took Freds niece with us cause we had to get 4 tickets. She had fun too.

There were fireworks after the game and they were beautiful. Better than the 4th of July show around here!! The Braves didn't win this one but it was a really nice trip.

Nathans first day of 3rd grade!

2009-08-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

Hes not really a fan of school but does good and has lots of friends. Its silly but he loves Michael Jacksons music and made me get this shirt for him.

NOT gonna let it bother me...

2009-07-25T16:21:00.000-07:00

So I have been really upset for the last few days. I know I have always been an outcast in my dads family because I don't kiss their asses, and have always lived my life the way I wanted to. Because of that I'm not invited to a lot of the family gatherings, they don't call me, and they could really care less about me and my kids. I know that is horrible but that's just how messed up my family is. My cousin Brandi has been one of my besties since we were kids. We use to do everything together and I thought we were still kinda close. She has been in bad relationships and I have always been here for her. BUT she is very two faced...She hates for anyone in the family to know anything good about me. She has lied for no good reason on me lots. I have always forgave her. But I think I'm done with her now. We have been in contact last couple weeks and she tells me her and her boyfriend are getting married, it was gonna be courthouse but his mama is a preacher so wanted to have them a lil something at the church. His family was planning it because she was working outta town and it was something they wanted to do...She calls me Friday while on her way back into town and tells me that she really wants me to be there...that her mama wasn't coming because she didn't approve..she says she doesn't care cause I would be there....She tells me she will call me back with the time, place for wedding and party sat night... I waited on her to call me, got really excited thinking about my cousin getting married, and she NEVER did. That has hurt my feelings SOO bad. She could have taken 2 minutes to call me and she didn't cause I was home all day and she has my cell no. I called the only # I had for her and kept getting voicemail. As hurtful as it sounds I think her mama and the rest of our family must have decided to show so she didn't need me anymore. And to top it off she didn't invite me to her first wedding because she didn't approve of me dating a black guy and this time she married a black guy... I don't think I ever want to speak to her again cause I don't need to get hurt by my own family like that anymore...

HOWEVER on a much brighter note, Fred is buying me a new car next week!!! Well not new new but a 2001 is new enough for me!! Think I'm gonna get a Tahoe cause he wants me to have an SUV and hes gonna put some 24's on it, (which I could care less about) but hey, me and my babies will ride good. Things are definitely looking up for me, Fred and our family!! We have opportunities in front of us like never before and will be making life much better real soon!!

No matter how hard I try

2009-07-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

Nathan thinks he's cute with gum wrapper in his mouth like some "gold"

Aiden was ready to go...bags, blanket, and keys, waiting...

I'm gonna start this on a happy note! I am happy today and it has been a great day...I have no kids for the evening and don't know what to do with myself. My sis and Nathan left earlier with his aunt. Aiden just left with his aunt and grandma. Aiden has never stayed away from home. Never been away for more than a couple of hours. I took me a long shower, put some clothes on, and painted my toenails :) Waitin on Fred to get home from work and maybe we can find something to do for the evening. I would love to get out the house for a little while.

I had a stupid argument with my mama today. She had surgery on Tuesday and I have had my sister since Sunday. When I picked her up the deal was that she would go home Friday, today. Mama sent Chelsea a message sayin she could just stay another night. I sent her a message back telling her no, that I wouldn't have my kids tonight so she had to go. Nathans aunt was coming so I asked her if she could drop Chelsea off. So she calls me cussing me out. Telling me that I'm a horrible daughter because I wasn't gonna bring Che home myself. She lives about 45 mins away and the suburban is a gas hog. I didn't really want to make that drive and it would have been later this evening before I could even go. She kinda sounded like she mighta been drinking and she told my sister that they were going to the beach tomorrow so how bad can she be feeling? She just wants to fuss at me for no reason and I try my best to be a good daughter. It's never good enough for her. I don't know what to do to try to make her happy anymore.

Okay...tonight will be a good night....maybe I'll drink a lil bit...hell it don't take but about 4 bud lites and I'm good....more later

He turned over today!!

2009-07-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

Today Aiden is 11 weeks old and he turned over from his belly to back for the first time today!! I layed him down for tummy time today and he just turned straight over. I put him back on his belly and he did it again!! I think he kinda scared hisself cause he was lookin kinda crazy right after..it was soo cute!! My baby is growing sooo fast!! Awww....before I know it he'll be walking!!

Aiden's First Shots.

2009-07-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

So I'm sittin here waiting to leave to take Aiden to the doctor for his first shots. Fred is working today but I'm really hoping he gets off in time to meet us so I can leave him in the room so I don't have to see him cry. I know I'll cry if I see him start crying cause I'm just a crybaby like that. Sooo..hopefully Fred can get off in time. I also have been thinking about how different it is for me, having a newborn now vs. when I was 18 and had Nathan. I realize now that I really didn't understand much at all at that age. Hell I was 17 when I got pregnant and really didn't know a damn thing. And I didn't appreciate Nathan being a baby then like I do Aiden now. It makes me feel really horrible now but then I just didn't know any better. I really enjoy Aiden. Loving how little he is, his little smiles, his laughs. But I think with Nathan I was just doin the mommy thing. Didn't truly "savor the moments." Plus I went to work right after I had him so I just wasn't there as much as I can be now. And things are different cause I'm not raising Aiden on my own. Fred is here and is totally involved in everything. It somehow makes everything more special, as bad as that sounds for my oldest child. I love him just as much but things are WAAY different now.......
So we went to the doc and my baby is a whopping 13 lbs now. I told the doc I think he eats too much and she said he could just be a greedy baby! The shots went fine. He cried and turned really red for a sec but was fine!!

Start of my blog....

2009-07-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

So I decided that I'm gonna start a blog. I have always kept a diary for years and years but don't keep up with it very good now that I have gotten older. Writing has always been one of my favorite things to do its just been a while so I want to see if I still got it. My life is going really good right now and I have to say that I am the happiest that I have ever been. It hasn't always been like this of course. I haven't had the easiest life and it has been full of ups and downs....I'm 26 years old now and its taken me a while to fully realize that we only live life once and I'm doing my best to make the best of it now.

I have so much to talk about that I really don't know where I want to start! My kids, or my relationship with my boyfriend, or my crazy family, or my crazy friends.....My son Nathan is 8 years old and I just had my second child, Aiden, 2 months ago. I never thought I would have another kid but now I do and taking care of a newborn again has been the most exciting, tiring, and wonderful thing in the world. Aiden is growing soo fast and has been smiling and cooing like crazy. Its the sweetest thing. And seeing how his daddy/my bf has changed in the past year has been one of those "Wait til he has his own kid, he'll understand" things. He has truly made me fall in love with him all over again because of how he's changed. I honestly never thought me and him would have a child together. We have been together for almost 7 years now and never used birth control. Just kinda figured he couldn't have kids. Part of me was obsessed with having a baby for a long time. I went to the doctor for a normal checkup and talked to the doc about it and he had told me that we prob needed to both be checked out to see what the problem was. I was very discouraged by this. It was all I thought about everyday. I remember last summer crying to him because I wanted a baby. Then, on August 21 of last year my life changed. I found out that I was pregnant. I think I kinda knew right away because my body started changing immediately and my period was late and had always been like clockwork...right on time. I was in shock for a while. Just didn't believe it. I think everyone was though. Him, his family, my family. I, of course, had my son Nathan, who I love more than anything. I just wanted to have a baby with Fred. And now that I do it's wonderful and my life is becoming full circle. Well this concludes my first entry. Will definately be working on this when I can....